I have a Confession to make:

I have a confession to make about a problem I kind of have:

I

WANT

 IT

 ALL!

Yes I do. A lot of times, people will look at me and say, "You don't know what you want, do you?" I can understand why they may think that, but, my answer will always be the same, "I want it all."

Growing up I wanted to be an entertainer. Sing, dance, act, model and write books and movies (and play instruments). Like Madonna does (she used to play the drums). Well, she also just started to write childrens books, she doesn't have a lot published (yet). Anyway, being a part of the entertainment industry is where I wanted to be. Then I grew up. I'll spare you all those details and say that I ended up doing a lot of stuff; I learned to like new things (that I still like) but more importantly, I ended up doing a lot of things I honestly didn't want to do (I fear that'll happen again in my very near future).

When I started to work out at Gold's Gym in Manchester, NH (in the 90s) I found out about the Fitness, Body Building and Modeling competitions; well, I had already known about them, I just didn't know about the local amateur shows. So, slowly but surely I hired a trainer and started to train. In 2002, when I moved to MA; I met a pro-competitor who introduced me to all the Fitness Atlantic competitors. On 10/11/2003, I competed for the first time. I was an amateur and I looked so awkward. I did well enough to be invited to train and compete again. It was then that I decided to dive in head first and train for a major show in Toronto.

In May 2004, I walked on the biggest stage I've ever been on in my life. At that point, I had 2 shows under my belt and I was confident enough to compete with the best of the best. There were about 250 women, and a lot of them were older than me. Women in their 30s, 40s, 50s. And I even got to watch some of the famous girls who are in all of the fitness magazines you see in magazines on the shelves of bookstores, grocery shops or even pharmacy's. Some of those girls started to compete the same day I did and sometimes, I can't help but think, had I not fallen off the financial wagon, where in fitness would I be today?

The real answer is this: all I really want out of it is a hobby and I want the experience to write about it. I want to be able to help women with their health goals and their fitness goals. The most amazing feeling was, during those years, co-workers, including people that I met once or twice, (I worked for a big company that employed over 500 employees and some people that knew about me through word of mouth) were emailing me and asking for my help so they could lose those extra 10 pounds or if they thought they should spend $250 to join a gym and they wanted all sorts of other advice. I loved it and to be honest with you, I still love to talk and advise people about health and nutrition.

With the fact that I want to write, I have to say being a fitness and health writer is so important to me. I know I want to see my articles in Fitness for Her; Oxygen; Shape and plenty of others. There are other topics I'd love to write about as well, browse my page and you'll see the different sections, and one that I haven't added and that's travel.

So the question is right now, is being a writer a great way to have it all, in a sense? I know I may never act in a movie, but, to write about the actors in a recent movie is good enough for me. I may not be able to design a few dresses but to write about the hottest trends is just as good. I may not win first place in a Fitness Model show, but, to write about the winner is an awesome thing. I would love to write a biography about the winners. To write about the experience, the journey; sharing tips, idea's and helping someone along way, well, that's awesome. In conclusion, to take all the things I love and to write about it in a fiction story, well that's just priceless. With all the things I love, I create my characters and my stories come to life.

So there you have it; from the girl who wants it all, there's only ONE thing I honestly want in the end, and that's a paid writing career...one that allows me to write about the million different topics I love.

(and I'm not going to be happy until I get it!)